ASCAN (Astronaut Candidate)
(Meant to be humourous,
but like most humor conatins
the ring of truth)

1. Keep smiling, but not grinning

2. Keep your humor harmless, pure and perfect. People don't understand irony.

3. Keep your weaknesses to yourself. If you don't point them out to others, they will never see them.

4. Never complain; make survival look easy.

5. You are expected to say something nice after each flight, class, or simulation.

6. If you can't say something nice, lie -- nicely.

7. In particular, practice saying, "Thanks for pointing that out, sir. I'll really work on that."

8. Be aggressively humble and dynamically inconspicuous. Save your brilliance for your friends and family.

9. Remember -- whatever's encouraged is mandatory. Whatever's discouraged is prohibited.

10. Nothing is sometimes a good thing to do and always a clever thing to say.



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